Baby Sitting Chronicles
by Kimberly
Summary: In a world without Eva, The children and their babysitters try to make it through everyday life. But some thing’s never are easy when dealing with little Chibbi's. A/U fic
1. Default Chapter

Baby Sitting Chronicles: Don't Eat the Green Potato Chip!

"How could you tell them I'd do this?!" Misato groaned as she rode on the passenger side of her dad's sports car. "I already had plans for today!"

Mr. Katsuragi chuckled softly as he glanced at his daughter. She had her arms cross and was glaring out of the window. "I thought you said you needed some extra money?"

She looked at him, sighed dramatically then answered "I do. But I thought you would just give it to me!"

A soft smile graced his lips as he tugged on his bow tie. He knew that was what she wanted, but he already advanced his fifteen year old daughter's allowance by three weeks. He felt that is was time she learned the value of money. "It's not that bad. The Ikari boy is a good kid; you said so yourself."

She huffed and turned her gaze back to the window. That wasn't the point. Good or not, she didn't want to watch the kid, she wanted to go out with her boyfriend.

Misato was tired of babysitting the kids in their neighborhood. It all started last summer, when she and her best friend Ritsuko saw this movie about babysitters and how much money those kids made. The two teenagers figured that they could do the same, and make tons of cash. Everyone who lived in Tokyo-3 Estates was well off, and the adults were always going to some type of social function. So getting a well paying sitting job wouldn't be a problem. Then there was another plus side, everyone who lived in Tokyo-3 Estates either had a maid or a cook or both. With this in mind, Misato and Ritsuko figured that the house servants would help them watch the kids. They figured it would be easy. It sounded like such a good idea that they actually convinced Kaji into joining their little business establishment. 

It only took one month, of one summer to realize that babysitting sucked! It sucked rotten eggs. Worse than rotten eggs because the servants wouldn't even help them. They usually took that time off and left the house, which unfortunately left them alone with the little rugrats. But what sucked even worse, was that when they tried to quit, their parents wouldn't let them. They claimed that babysitting would help them build character or some nonsense like that. So here they were, almost a year later and still babysitting!

who's stupid idea was this again Misato mentally growled to herself.

However, their parents did have mercy on them and only forced them to baby-sit the kids of their friends. Most of the time, the three teens could usually get out of the job by making plans ahead of time, but then sometimes.... their parents canceled their plans and made them work. That was the case for one Misato Katsuragi. 

It wasn't long before they arrived at three story brick house in the middle of a dead end cove-sack. The Ikari's didn't live far from her house. The only reason her father drove her was to make sure she arrived at the Ikari's and not snuck off to hang out with Kaji. (like she did last time. she claimed she didn't know she had to work) 

"Have fun at the benefit fundraiser dad!" Misato got out of the car and gave a half-wave good bye to her dad before she walked toward the front door.

The purple haired teenager grumbled to herself to how she didn't want to be here as she walked up the many steps to get to the front door. The young Shinji Ikari wasn't a bad kid. He was actually one of the better kids to baby-sit. He just had his... moments. 

Right when she was about to ring the door bell, the front door opened. 

"You're late." 

The girl meekly looked up at the tall, dark haired man and stuttered out. "S-sorry"

She wasn't *that late* Two minutes at the most, but Mr. Ikari was a complete anal retentive about everything. That was another reason why she didn't like baby sitting Shinji. She was afraid to touch anything. 

With cool dark blue eyes he informed. "I thought you weren't going to show up again." 

"I got the days mixed up last time, sir." She lied. He didn't appear to believe her so she continued. "My dad brought me...this time" Gawd she wanted to just crawl under a rock. She really didn't mean to ditch working that day. It was just that time flies when your having fun, and boy was she and Kaji having fun. As she remembered that day, Misato fought back a hentai smirk .

She watched the man narrow and shield his eyes as if the afternoon sun was burning them. He then retrieved a pair of tinted glasses from the inner pocket of his tux and put them on. She blink in surprise. The sun really *was* burning his eyes.

Gendo Ikari was known by the neighbor kids as "Mr. Mole." No one knew what he did at his job, but everyone knew that he worked underground. Hence the name *mole*. They also knew that every morning before the sun rose, he would leave for work and every night, after sunset, he would come home. The man hardly ever saw the light of day. 

Misato slowed her pace as she followed him, she started to remember that when was younger she thought Mr. Mole was a vampire. She still wasn't complete convinced that he wasn't. As she followed him into the large house, she absently looked for the child she was going to be responsible for the rest of the day and most of the evening. Of course, he was no where in sight. That would just be too easy.

"Yui..." Mr. Ikari called lovingly into the central intercom. "If you don't hurry we are going to be late."

"Heaven forbid." She answered playfully in the intercom. "Gendo, they won't mind if we are late, They'll only care about our presence if we come and don't donate large sums of money."

He sighed in an irritated fashion, but said no more to rush her. He knew she was speaking the truth.

It wasn't long before Mrs. Ikari walked gracefully down the curved staircase. She had on a lavender evening gown and a matching sheer shall, that loosely hung over the crook of her elbows. 

"You look lovely." Gendo praised.

Misato nodded in agreement. 

"Thank you." She responded sweetly to both of them, then turned her full attention to the young girl. "Shinji is in his room sulking. He is kinda upset that we are leaving him to go to another charity ball."

Misato nodded in understanding to the young boys plight. She used to do the same thing when her parents would go to those things. Now that she was a teenager, and had a boyfriend... hehehe.. Well lets just say she never lets her parents turn down an invitation. "Don't worry about him. I'll take him to the park or something to cheer him up." 

The two Ikari's nodded and headed for the door.

"Oh and Misato," Gendo started. "The cook and the maid have the evening off..." 

of course they do The young teenager bitterly groaned. 

Gendo continued. "So I left some money so you can have something delivered." He had heard from his son about her cooking, and he didn't want to torture the boy. "I've already took Shinji to the video store and bought him a movie. It's Mary Poppins. I'm sure you will be watching that movie at least twice tonight. Everything else you will need for this night is on a list on the fridge. It also tells exactly where you will find everything and all the numbers you may need if something happens to my son." His brow furrowed dangerously over the glasses. "But I am sure that you will not let any harm come to my son, isn't that right?"

Misato paled. This was the same speech she got every time she babysat Shinji, but she would never get used to hearing it or hearing that sadistic tone in which he said it. "I promise you that I will take care of Shinji as if he was my own kid." She breathed a sighed of relief when the two Ikari's gave her a smile of approval. 

Shinji was their only child, and they were very protective over him. Overly protective. It amazed her that the boy was so timid and not bratty like another child she babysat often. The same child who always pointed out her incompetence and compared her to her most favorite babysitter, Kaji.

Right before Yui and Gendo Ikari walked out the door, little Shinji Ikari cried out from the second floor hall balcony. 

"Mommy! You can't leave!!" He quickly started to rush down the steps. 

Yui clutched the part of the dress over her heart. It scared her to see her little 5 year old son hurry down the steps . 

"Not so fast, Shinji, and don't forget to hold on to the banister tightly." Gendo reminded as he rushed toward the steps to make sure that his son didn't fall. Yui was very close behind.

"Yes sir." His tiny hand gripped the ornate cherry wood banister with more strength, while his tiny feet meet each other, on each of the steps, one step at a time. Three steps from the bottom he jumped into his mothers awaiting arms. "Do you really have to go?" He pouted.

She nodded. "Where going to raise money for indigents."

"For what?" The little boy asked quizzically.

"For poor people." Gendo clarified. He knew his wife felt guilty for calling people poor, even if they were.

"Why can't they raise their own money?" The boy whined.

that's what I would like to know Gendo growled mentally to himself. He hated going to these events. He hated being around people who didn't work under him. 

"Shinji-love," His mother began sweetly. "We've talked about this already."

"I kno.w" He whined, then pointed behind him, at Misato with his thumb. "But why did you get *her* to watch me! She's a girl and girls have cooties!"

oh great, not this again Misato groaned. She thought that she convinced the young Ikari that 15 year old *ladies* did not have cooties. He seemed to believe her, but that was over two weeks ago. She could only assume that his friends convinced him other wise.

"I'll wash you with that special soap when I come home, okay" Yui cooed lovingly. She knew better than to get into the cootie debate with her son right now. She and Gendo would barely make it to the function on time as it is, and she knew how her husband hated being late. 

The little boy nodded. If his mom said their was a special soap that could kill all the cootie germs, then there was.

Yui put her son down, kissed his forehead. "Be good" The young boy nodded. 

Gendo placed a loving hand on the top of his son's head and ruffled his hair. Then both parents turned to leave.

When Mr. and Mrs. Ikari were gone, Misato turned to her charge and asked. "Wanna go to the park?"

"Not really." Shinji answered honestly. He was more of an inside kid.

"All your friends will be there." That Misato was certain of. This charity was a big thing. She knew that Ritsuko probably got called for a job, and Kaji probably took a job since their plans were canceled. If this was the case, the first place they would take the kids was to the park. They learned that is was always best to let the kids run around and tire themselves out early in the job, so it would be easy to make them go to sleep. It was also a way they could hang out with each other.

Shinji though about it. He guessed it would be better to play with his friend than be stuck in the house with a girl. "Okay, I'll go, but I don't want you to hold my hand." He gave his best impersonation of his dads glare "I won't be tricked by your lies again!" He ran upstairs to his room to retrieve his shoes. His daddy didn't like shoes cluttering up the door way. 

"Fine" Misato groaned and sat on the bottom step to wait for him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

True to her word, Misato let Shinji walk to the park without holding her hand. The park was located in the middle of the neighborhood. There was fountain there, picnic tables and a large gazebo for people to sit and watch their kids in the playground. There was a lot of grassy land for older kids to play football or soccer, a basketball court and a tennis court. The only thing this park didn't have was a swimming pool, but that was because everyone had one in their backyard. 

Shinji ran across the grass field and ran straight for the playground swings. He loved the swings. It made him feel like he was flying.

Misato look her seat in the gazebo and waited for her friends. It wasn't long before she saw Ritsuko. 

~~

In her arms, Ritsuko was carrying one Rei Ayanami. The little three, almost four, year old girl had on a white sailors uniform with a pleated skirt and matching tam-o'-shanter that had a dark blue ribbon in the back. Her thumb was safely hidden in her mouth, and her head was resting peacefully on the young blonds shoulder. 

In front of the two girls was Rei's older brother Kaworu. He wore dark blue sailor suit with short pants and a matching hat like his sisters, but his did not fashion a ribbon. He walked at least three steps in front of Ritsuko, to ensure that his babysitter didn't accidentally touch him. He didn't want cooties, and he wasn't gullible like Shinji. It was good that he set his friend straight. Fifteen year old girls did too have cooties!! 

Even though it was Saturday, the two Ayanami children wore their school uniforms because they just got back from school. Their mother, Lillith, had placed them in a private Christian school that had classes 6 days a weeks. Ritsuko opted not to change their clothes because it would have just given her a headache. Rei was a good kid, but she was a terror when trying to dress her. It was almost like the child hated clothes and once she was free of them, she wanted to stay that way. The little girl loved being as naked as a jaybird. 

Ritsuko watched the little silverish haired boy march in front of her like a solider. The sight of his high stepping made her chuckle softly to herself. His father, Adam Ayanami took him to see the Japanese Imperial parade about a month ago. They were invited by Asuka's dad. He was a four star general in the Imperial Guard. The little boy loved it! He loved the marching formations of the Army and the bands. Ever since then, he started walking like that. That was until he saw one of his friends and forgot about playing soldier.

"Shinji!!" 

Kaworu ran across the basketball court, paying no heed that there was a game in progress, to get to the playground. He trekked over the sandy floor that enclosed the children's play area, to get over to the swings. Shinji was his bestest friend; even though, Shinji was a year younger than him. But that was ok.

Shinji eyes lit up when he saw his best friend. He actually had three best friend, but Kaworu was his *bestest* friend. "I bet that I can jump out of the swing farther than you today!" Shinji boasted. He had been practicing since the last time. 

The young sliverish haired boy took the empty swing next to Shinji and coaxed. "Only if I let you win!"

"Well see" The brown haired boy coaxed back as he pumped his little legs to swing higher.

~~

At the gazebo

"Rei-chan don't you want to go and play with your brother and Shinji?" Misato asked the little girl sweetly. It was hard not to be sweet to her. She looked so angelic.

Without taking her thumb out of her mouth she answered. "Nowa" Rei very rarely took her thumb out of her mouth.

"She's just a little tired." Ritsuko answered as she sat down and wrapped Rei's tiny legs around her waist so they could sit comfortably. "She had a long day at school."

Rei nodded in agreement and wrapped her other hand around her babysitter's neck. She snuggled closer and rested her head against Ritsuko's bosom to get comfortable . She wanted to take a nap.

Ritsuko looked down at her charge and shook her head. She knew that the little blue haired girl intended to take a nap, and there was now way that she was going to allow it. If Rei went to sleep now, there would be no way to get her to sleep later. But for now, she would allow the girl to think she was going to get some rest. It wouldn't be long until...

"There's Kaji and Asuka!" Misato yelled out and waved them to come over. "Look they have Hikari with them." Misato looked back at Rei. "Your friends are here, don't you want to play with them?"

Rei shook her head no against Ritsuko's chest. She didn't want to play. She wanted to take a nap.

With a tiny gloved hand, Asuka put a tighter grip on Kaji's hand and narrowed her eyes a Misato. The young 5 year old wasn't stupid in the least. She was in 4th grade, for crying out loud. And she knew that Misato had eyes for *her* man. She also knew that the Katsuragi girl thought she was bratty, but she didn't care. Like her daddy says, wars are not kind. And this was war! Kaji was hers,(!) and she knew that when she got 16 he was going to marry her. She figured that by 14 she would be finished with college and by 16 she could drive, so it would be better to be 16 when she got married. 

Asuka walked with Kaji inside the gazebo. Hikari followed behind Asuka, but they were holding hands. They were best friends, so they could do that. But more importantly girls didn't have cooties, only boys did. That's why she was holding Asuka's hand not Kaji's. That's also why Asuka wore a glove. She liked Kaji, but she wasn't going to risk getting cooties from him. Hikari thought her friend was the smartest person ever.

"Hi there, Asuka!" Misato chimed sweetly. She noticed that the young red haired girl wore her favorite yellow summer dress. 

"Misato-san." The young girl answered her self proclaimed archenemy coolly. She put a tighter grip on Kaji hand.

The boy that stood between them took a deep breath and prayed that the two girls didn't cause *another* scene. He still had scratches from the last time Asuka attacked Misato with a vengeance when she felt that the teen was becoming "too friendly" with him. That was also the very reason that he and Misato kept their relationship a secret from the little girl. 

Asuka was much more... violent than the rest of the kids. It wasn't really her fault though. She was five years old and in 4th grade. She had to toughen her outter shell because the older kids she went to school with relentlessly teased her because of her young age. They hated the fact that someone so young could be smarter than them. So since Asuka spent most of time in school, the anger she got from being there unfortunately rolled over to the way she treated her best friends. Fortunately, her friends didn't mind. They actually respected her for it and came to her when they needed protection. 

Hikari let go of Asuka's hand and walked over to Ritsuko and Rei. "Are you sick, Rei-chan?"

Rei crimson eyes fluttered open and she sleepily shook her head no before closing them back.

Ritsuko looked up at Kaji and asked a question with her eyes.

"Her sister is watching her." He answered bitterly. 

Ritsuko nodded knowingly.

Hikari's eldest sister was the same age as them, so they were never hired to baby-sit Hikari, but her sister would always tell her go to Asuka's house when their parents where gone. So Kaji always ended up watching two kids for the price of one. He didn't mind so much, Hikari was a good kid. It was just the fact that he was watching two kids for the price of one!!

Asuka noticed Hikari trying to urge Rei to wake up so they could go play, but the blue haired girl wasn't budging off of her babysitter's lap. Forgetting about being possessive over Kaji, Asuka walked over the her two best friends. 

"She won't wake up." The pig tailed girl pouted.

"That's because its her naptime." Asuka answered knowingly as she stared at the youngest girl.

"She still takes naps?" Hikari asked as if that was the worst thing ever. She must have momentarily forgotten that she also takes naps. Everyday, just earlier than this.

Asuka nodded and answered without malice. "That's because she's a baby. Baby's have to take naps."

Rei's eyes snapped open and she sat back and yelled, which was only slightly muffled because of her thumb in her mouth. "I am not a baby!" 

"Sure you are." Asuka answered innocently. Of course Rei was a baby. She was only three and all the gown-ups carried her all the time. And she still sucked her thumb. If that wasn't a baby she didn't know what was.

Ritsuko smiled warmly as she helped the little girl off her lap. She knew this would happen. Rei hated being called a baby, baby doll or little one. However, she did tolerate being called butterfly. She loved butterflies and the little girl told her often, that for her birthday she was going to wish that she would be turned into one.

"I am not a baby!" Rei stated adamantly in an angry clam voice.

Kaji smirked. It always amazed him how the Ayanami children spoke. They were always so calm. No matter how their inner feelings must have raged, their outer appearance stayed calm. He figured that they were imitating their parents. Both Adam and Lillith Ayanami were psychiatrist and they had a very, very, very calm and soothing way of speaking. Kaji doubted if anything could get them angry. They rationalized everything and then prayed for it. The whole Ayanami family were also extremely devout Christians. 

Asuka rolled her eyes. She didn't care what the little girl believed. Rei was a baby, but agreed anyway "Okay, your not a baby! Are you ready to go to the playground now? We've been waiting all day!" 

To the average 5 year old, waiting *one* minute, is like waiting all day. 

The little girl in question looked back at her babysitter. She didn't want to go and play; she wanted a nap. Ritsuko gave her a warm smile and an encouraging push toward the exit of the gazebo. The young blond was determined not to allow Rei to go to sleep until later. Sure, she would get cranky, but her anger was mild. That was unless she was trying to dress her. 

Defeated, the blue haired girl nodded to Asuka.

'Bout time!" Asuka growled and spun on her heals to run toward the playground then looked back at the blue haired girl "Do you need me to hold your hand?"

Rei thought about it then shook her head no. Asuka ran to fast, she would end up being dragged like last time.

The red haired girl nodded and ran toward the park, Hikari followed closely and Rei who still had her baby run, ran on her tippy-toes tettering sided to side. So of course, she lagged far behind. 

"She just too cute for her own good." Kaji mused as he watched Rei run with her thumb in her mouth.

"Don't let Asuka hear you say that" Misato playfully warned.

Kaji turned to his girlfriend. "She doesn't see Rei as competition. Rei is just a baby in her eyes." He moved quickly and sat beside Misato and wrapped his arms around her. "Now you my dear..." He cooed seductively in her ear. 

"Kaji scoot back!" Misato groaned half heartedly "The kids will see us and then all hell will break loose...again."

They all laughed and Kaji pulled away. Then Ritsuko sighed jealously "You are soooo lucky Misa-chan! You always get to baby-sit Shinji!"

"I thought you liked watching Kaworu and Rei?" Misato asked .

"You know I do, but..." The blond blushed "Shinji's dad is such a babe!"

Kaji gagged as he took off his back pack. The bag was filled with treats for them. But they made sure only eat it when they were sure the kids weren't looking. They didn't want to share.   


"Ugh!" Misato laughed "I can't believe you have a crush on Mr. Mole!" 

~~~~~~~

"Can too!"

"Can not!"

"Can TOO!!"

"Nuh uh! Can NOT!!!"

"CAN TOO!!!!!" Asuka and Hikari screamed at the top of their lungs.

"CAN NOT!!! Girls CANNOT jump further than boys!!" Shinji and Kaworu yelled back, but not nearly as loud as the girls. 

"Watch me!" Asuka stomped over toward the swing Shinji was in. She put her hand out and *pretended* that she was going to touch him, making him fall backwards out of the swing and into the sand to get away from her. She pointed at the swing and made swirling circle gesture, to nullify Shinji's cootie germs, then plopped into the swing. She pointed at Kaworu "You me. Now! They winner is the best in the *whole* world! And you also have to say girls are better than boys!" 

With no fear of loosing the boy agreed to the terms. "Fine!" He pushed himself to a start and pumped his legs so he could swing higher. "But when you loose, you better say that boys are better than girls."

Asuka snorted at his words. She had no fear of loosing. She opted to stand on the swing and get more speed and height that way. 

"Who's going to jump first?" Hikari yelled out to the two duelist. 

"Lady's first" The sliverish haired boy grunted out as he tried to match Asuka's height in the air. 

Rei walked over to the one baby swing. It was the harness type that had leg holes. She looked back at Hikari and Shinji and commanded softly. "Help." She couldn't get into it by herself. 

Everyone was paying attention to the competition. They didn't hear her. The little girl huffed and walked to the closest person. 

Shinji eyes tripled their size when he felt someone tug on his hand. He swallowed a shrill and turned to look at little girl. 

"Help." She mumbled with her thumb in her mouth. Unlike the others, Rei wasn't afraid of cooties. Well that's not true. She didn't mind them as long as they didn't get on her *thumb*. Her mommy said that cooties couldn't hurt her because God was protecting her and she believed that to be true as long as it didn't get on her *thumb*.

Shinji took a deep breath, pointed at his cootiefied hand with his uninfected hand and did a bunch of cross and X shapes and wiggly imaginary lines. That was the secret de-cootifying gesture. It was different from the girl decootifying gesture, but it worked just the same. Once he was sure that he was now immune, he asked the little girl. "Yes Rei?"

The little girl pointed to the swing. "Help."

Shinji looked at the swing and cringed. To help her in there would mean that he would have to TOUCH her. How could he do that without getting cooties? A moment later, the answer came to him. "In minute." The boy assured. "When your brother beats Asuka. I'll tell him to help you."

Rei nodded. That was good enough for her. 

"You go first, Kaworu!" The red haired girl yelled as she plopped down to a sitting position.

"No you!" Kaworu answered back. "You only want me to go first so you can see how far I jump so I you can jump further!" 

"So!" 

"So, No!" Kaworu huffed out. "Ladies first!!"

"I'm not a lady!" Asuka panted out. "I am a girl!" 

"Then girls first!"

"No!" She screamed as she got herself into the position to jump.

"Why not Asuka? Are ya Chicken?" 

All the children they got silent and their eyes became as wide as saucers, as they turned to toward the voice. Chicken!?! Someone actually dared to call Asuka a chicken!

Rei smirked behind her thumb. Asuka would win now. Her friend always tried harder when her pride was challenged. And then after she won, everyone would know that girls were better. She loved her brother but he was still a boy, and girls ruled and boys drooled. The angelic little girl was the last one to look at the person who made the comment. Touji said it. 

The dark haired, 6 year old stood next to his sandy brown haired twin brother with a victory grin on his face. 

Kensuke tucked his hands in his arm pits and starts flapping his bent arms and clucking like a chicken to instigate the insult.

Kensuke and Touji where called twins because they were same age and were in the same family. However, the two weren't really twins. Kensuke's real last name was Aida, but his mom re-married Touji's dad and now his last name was Suzuhara. Everyone in the neighborhood also called them the "terror twins" because they were *bad.* 

"I'm not scared of nothing!" Asuka screamed as she pumped her legs harder to gain more height. "You just wait until after I win! I'll show you just how unafraid I am!"

"Ooooo" Hikari instigated turning completely around to face the boys She wiggled her tooshie as she pointed at them "You're gonna get it now!"

Shinji looked at his two friends and nodded in agreement. Asuka was going to kick their butt for calling her a chicken. It puzzled him to why the twins even said that. They knew just like everyone knew that Asuka never let an insult go unpunished. 

Kaworu was already in the precarious position to jump. Each second he delayed he risked falling off the swing. Also he was loosing speed, and if he lost speed then he would lose distance when he jumped. So instead of trying to convince the Asuka to jump again, he took a deep breath and jumped. He made his body as straight as a board to lessen the air resistance as he shot through the air like a bullet.

"Wow!!!' All the children yelled out. They were clearly impressed. That was the farthest anyone had ever jumped in the whole world! 

All the children "wowed," except Asuka. She watched him make a line where he stopped and mentally assessed how far she need to jump to beat him. She took a deep breath and jumped.

"I see London! I see France! I see Asuka's under pants!!!" The two Suzuhara twins chimed. 

Shinji turned away blushing. He was *not* supposed to see that! He scrubbed his eyes just in case seeing her panties gave him eye cooties. One can never be to safe when cooties were concerned.

Hikari slapped her hand over her mouth in embarrassment.

Asuka grabbed her dress in mid air to cover herself. By doing so she created resistance and instead of passing Kaworu she fell short WAY short

"Say it!" Touji ordered immediately after she landed. "Say boys are better than girls!" He knew that stakes even if he wasn't there when they made them. It was same terms every time. 

"No!" Asuka yelled as she stood up and brushed the sand off her legs and dress "You cheated!"

"Who? Us?" Kensuke asked with mock innocents. "You lost fair and square!"

"Yeah" Touji added " You lost fair and square! Its not our fault you wanted to show us your *panties*"

Asuka eyes tripled their size. She was so angry, she was shaking. How dare they look at her private clothing. How dare they accuse her of WANTING them to be seen! Those....those.....those PERVERTS!! "I'm going to scratch your eyes out!!" She shrieked. 

Touji's dark brown eyes quadrupled in size, and he backed up fearfully before he turned and ran in a full sprint. The elder Suzuhara twin knew she wasn't bluffing. He was there when she attack Misato. 

With her claws bared, Asuka ran after the boy.

Kensuke ran after Asuka. He wanted to help save his brother. Hikari then ran after him, cheering Asuka on. Kaworu then followed just to watch the spectacle. 

When Shinji started to follow, he was stopped by a little hand the grabbed his. He had to swallow a scream. Slowly he turned and faced Rei.

"You said that when Kaworu jumped he would help me." She looked at her brother run and follow the rest of the kids then back to Shinji. "He's gone. So you have to help me"

"But...but I can't. You're a girl." Shinji pleaded.

"I don't have cooties" Rei said adamantly with her thumb in her mouth. "You can ask Kaworu. Little sisters don't have cooties. My mommy and daddy said so."

"But you're not *my* little sister!" Shinji contradicted logically. 

Rei didn't have anything to counter what he said. So instead she ...cried. "I'm tired... I just want to sit in the swing and take a nap. Please...I need help."

It broke the young boy's heart to see Rei cry. Her ivory skin flushed a bright pink. Her little hiccup whimpers that escaped her thumb filled mouth.. It was just to much. "Okay. Sheesh. I'll help you into the swing."

"Promise?" Rei's sniffed.

Shinji scratched the back of his head and looked around. He wanted to make sure none of his friends would see him. Getting cooties was only a problem when your friends knew you had them. Lucky for Shinji, Touji, Kensuke and Kaworu were busy with Asuka. 

Shinji followed Rei to the harness swing. He wasn't sure how he was going to get her in there, he was only slightly taller than the little girl. 

"Pick me up." Rei commanded.

Okay, there was his answer.

~~~

Ritsuko watched the two youngest from the gazebo. She watched Shinji hesitantly wrap his tiny arms around the blue haired girl's waist and ...knock her breath out of her with a tight squeeze when he tried to pick her up. She watched him apologize and assure the upset little girl he didn't do it on purpose. She watched Rei tell him something and Shinji reluctantly agreed to get on his hands and knees. Rei then used the boy as a stepping stool, grab the swing chains and pull herself up, so she could crawl into the baby harness. Once Rei put her legs through the leg holes and sat down, she curled up and rested her arm against the front part of the harness and her head against her arm. She was making herself comfortable so she could fall asleep. 

"Oh no you don't, little butterfly" Ritsuko said as she started to get up. She was determined not to let Rei fall asleep, even if it meant taking her out of that baby swing. Fortunately, she didn't have to intervene a little furry animal was going to do it for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't own anything that deals with Evangelion

Sorry I ended it there. I have this feeling that this fic is going to be too long for a one shot. So I am going to break it up into chapters. ^_~

Love ya lots! I really really do

Kimberly


	2. 2

Baby Sitting Chronicles: Don't Eat the Green Potato Chip.

Ting-a-ling ting-a-ling.....ting-a-ling..

Rei's head snapped up and her crimson eyes frightfully looked side to side. That sound... it could only mean one thing. 

Mr. Fluffy.

That awful, hideous cat! 

Mr. Fluffy was some type of rare breed of cat that was pure white, had very long, soft, fluffy fur, and no tail. The cat belonged to the Tomita's, who was one of Rei's neighbors. When the little girl was younger, around the age of two, she used to play with the cat often. She loved Mr. Fluffy, and she very much wanted to keep him for herself. It wasn't until the cat licked her face, did she change her mind and her desire to keep him. However, having her face licked by the cat wasn't what made her have an unnatural fear of the furry beast. It was the painful rash that developed on her milky white skin that did it. It turned out that Rei was severely allergic to the enzymes in cat saliva. The little blue haired girl was allergic to a lot of things. Most of which involved animals in some way, whether it was being around them or eating meat. 

Shinji heard Mr. Fluffy's bell too, and he looked side to side for the cat. If he saw it, he would make sure that it stayed away from Rei. He was determined to protect her. 

Rei, on the other hand, didn't have that much faith in Shinji's protection, so she was about to have a panic attack. She was trapped in the baby swing, and if Mr. Fluffy wanted to, he could jump right into her lap and lick her face and she wouldn't be able to get away. She needed to get out of there, and she needed to get out now! 

~~~~~~~~~

When Rei stood up in the swing, Ritsuko relaxed and returned her attention back to her friends. The blond teen wasn't aware of the little girl's distress. She thought that Shinji must have refused to push her, so she was trying to swing herself. 

"So Rit-chan what did your mom say when she saw your hair?" Kaji asked totally interested. He was sure that her mom must have freaked out when Ritsuko bleached her naturally brown hair.

"Are you kidding!" The teenaged Akagi sighed dramatically. "I thought she was going to kill me!"

Misato ran her fingers through her friends short, silky locks. "It looks nice though. Natural even."

"It didn't after I bleached it!" Ritsuko groaned as she raked both hands through her hair. "It was totally damaged. Mom had to call the salon and make an emergency appointment with Pierre!"

"No way!" Misato yelled clearly impressed. "It took me a whole month to get a hair appointment with him! How'd she do it?"

Kaji rolled his eyes and started to dig in the book bag for some candy. Now that the girls were talking about hair and not about punishments, he was bored with their conversation.

~~~~~~~

Asuka had almost caught up with the elder Suzuhara twin. A few more inches and she could grab the back of his shirt. "Almost gotcha!" 

Ting-a- ling....ting-a ling.....ting-a-ling...

With the faint sound of a cat bell, the reason for the case was immediately forgotten. All five children stopped dead in their tracks and started to look in different directions. 

They heard the bell so they knew that Mr. Fluffy was around. They also knew that Mr. Fluffy was looking for Rei. That cat always searched out Rei when it was let out of the house. No matter where the little girl was, Mr. Fluffy would find her. However, the little chibbi's were not going to let the cat get to Rei. The little blue haired girl was the baby of the group, so they all felt the need to protect her. 

"I see him!" Hikari screeched as she pointed toward the white fur ball at the other end of the grass field. 

Kaworu ran at full sprint toward the cat. He wasn't allergic to cat spit, so he wasn't afraid. Mr. Fluffy saw the little sliverish haired sailor coming toward him and changed directions. Touji and Asuka were not far behind Kaworu and quickly adjusted their direction to follow the furry trouble maker.

Hikari and Kensuke ran back toward the swings just in case the cat got passed the three fastest runners. The cat usually did get passed them. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Rei watched Hikari and Kensuke run toward her. With a shift of her gaze, she saw the cat run right through brothers legs and right past Asuka and Touji. The little girl's heart started to pound painfully with each step the cat took toward her. 

Shinji watched Rei tilt her head back and take a deep breath. He quickly covered his ears; he knew what was coming next.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaji almost choked on the Jolly Rancher he was eating when he heard Rei's eardrum shattering, terror stricken scream.

"Crap!" Ritsuko hissed and ran toward the little girl. She knew exactly what *that* scream meant. "Damn that cat!"

Kaji and Misato quickly followed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When cat passed Hikari and then Kensuke, Rei decided to make a run for it. But first, she had to get out of the baby swing. 

Shinji barely had enough time to uncover his ears before he saw the blue haired girl fall directly on top of him.

"Oof" 

Shinji was laying flat on his back, and his breath was completely knocked out of him because the youngest Ayanami used him to soften her fall. However, the young girl didn't come out complete unscathed either. Her breath was knocked out of her as well. So with the lack of oxygen, she couldn't get her body to cooperate and get up. 

In a dazed state, Shinji laid in the sand, with Rei on top of him. "Would you please get up now?" He managed out in a shaky whisper. 

With much effort, the little girl peeled herself into a sitting position , only to see Mr. Fluffy pounce toward her. Immediately, Rei brought her hands and her head back down in order to protect her skin from the cats tongue. 

"Gotcha!" Misato chimed after she caught the troublesome cat in mid air. 

Shinji's dark blue eyes quadrupled in size as he stared directly into to Rei's crimson ones. Rei had hid her hands and face against HIS face!! Rei had her hand, her LEFT hand on HIS face! Rei had her left hand, the one that was connected to her thumb, on HIS face!!. The same pink, wet, slightly swollen, wrinkled up like a raisin thumb that has always been in *her* MOUTH since she was a real baby, on HIS face! No correction. ON *HIS* MOUTH!

Both Rei and Shinji seemed to realize this fact at the same time, and they both had the same reaction. 

They screamed. LOUD. 

~~~~~~~

Ritsuko and Kaji carried the two highly distraught chibbi's toward the Ayanami's house. The court in which the two siblings lived was closer to the park than Shinji's house. Also, When they all arrived at the Ayanami's home, all Kaji would have to do to take Shinji home was walk through the Ayanami's backyard. The Ikari's and the Ayanamis lived directly behind each other. It was just one of the many blessings of suburbia, to be able to look out of your backdoor and see right into your neighbor's backyard, and inside of their house and vice versa (insert sarcasm) 

Rei, Kaworu, Asuka and Hikari lived in the same cove-sack. The Sorhyu's lived directly across the street from the Ayanami's, and the Hiroki's lived right beside the Sorhyu's. Shinji lived in the same cove-sack as the Suzuhara twins. But if you didn't go through the backyards, the two courts were really far apart. It was only by chance, and the lack of privacy, did the Ayanami family and the Ikari family become friends. 

Rei had not stopped wailing since her thumb grazed Shinji mouth. She just knew that her thumb, her FAVORITE thumb was ruined!! It was spoiled by Shinji's cootie germs! The little girl looked through blurry eyes, at her wrinkled thumb. She tried to stretch her arm even more to get it away from her. She was acting as if her thumb was covered with the plague or something worse. It was Ruined!! Rei opened her mouth and once again made that ear piercing wail as she started to lean back to throw another temper tantrum. 

"Oh my Gawd!" Ritsuko screamed as the little blue hair girl slipped from her grasp and started to fall backwards, and head first toward the ground.

Luckily, Misato was able to grab the girl by the ankles before she cracked her skull on the ground. The little toddler's head was so close to the ground that her short, light blue, locks brushed the cement sidewalk.

The purple haired teenager stared angrily at the Rei. So consumed in her tantrum, the little girl didn't even realize the kind of danger she just put herself in. "Rei-chan, if you don't calm down, you're going to give yourself something to really cry about!"

Rei didn't stop crying as Misato put her right side up. Shinji didn't stop crying either. Not only was the little boy terrified that he was now infected, Kaji had trapped his little hands in his large one. The teen had to, the little brown haired boy was rubbing his lips raw. Also, Shinji had refused to allow another girl to touch him, so as far as he was concerned Misato was no longer his babysitter. Kaji was now his new, temporary, guardian and that's why it was the teenaged boy who was caring him back to his house. 

Misato took Rei away from Ritsuko and tugged on the little girl's hand to force her to keep pace. At first, Rei tried to refuse to walk, but Misato dragged her and forced her to walk until she complied. 

Ritsuko shifted her gaze back and forth between the distraught, blue haired toddler and the brown haired little boy. "What's going on? Why are they so upset?" 

"Because they have cooties!" Kensuke volunteered. His is were wide as he stared at his sobbing friends. He felt really bad for them. 

"Yeah, they have cooties!" Touji confirmed, then added. "And now they are going to get sores on their lips!"

"Poor Rei-chan.." Hikari sobbed as she nodded in agreement to Touji's words. "Poor, poor Rei-chan!" 

"What?" The three teens asked in almost perfect unison. That was the most ridiculous thing they've ever heard. 

"Why would they get sores on their lips?" Misato groaned as she finally picked up the purposely lagging, and highly distraught, Rei. She placed the little girl on her hip and quickened her pace to catch up with Kaji. 

"Because they have cooties!" Asuka rolled her eyes and gave her rival a "duh" expression. 

Just the mention of cooties made Shinji wail "I want my MOOOOOOMMY!!" right before he roughly wiped his mouth on Kaji's shoulder. 

Kaworu walked very closely to Misato. He kept his crimson eyes trained worriedly on his little sister as he nervously fiddled with her tam-o-shanter. She looked so sad. He just hoped that cooties weren't as painful as Saionji said they were.

"Will someone PLEASE tell me WHY Shinji and Rei think they have cooties! And WHY it will give them sores on their mouth!" Misato yelled. She was really tired of all the kids fear of the dreaded gender germ. She didn't understand why they even felt that way. All the kids were practically friends from the day they were born. She knew for a fact that Kaworu visited the hospital the day Asuka was born. Asuka and Kaworu was there for Shinji's birth, and all three, as well as Hikari and the twins were there for Rei's birth. Moreover, they never had a problem playing together before.... so why now? 

"I'll tell you!" Asuka volunteered and skipped until she was in front of Misato. Walking backwards, so she could see the people behind her, she held up two tiny fingers and she began with her tale. "Once upon a time... about two weeks ago....."

__

::Flashback::

__

In the playroom of the Hiroki house, Asuka, Rei and Hikari were playing Eva Angels with their favorite dolls. Eva Angels was a spin off from the popular show Eva Rangers. But instead of all the fighter being boys, the Eva Angels were all girls.

Asuka's doll was a red haired Barbie that was dressed in the Red Eva Ranger action figure's clothes. She knew that the Red Eva Ranger was really a boy, but that mattered not to the young girl. She *liked* the color red and *that* was all that mattered. But the real reason her doll had on an Eva Ranger uniform was because there was no Eva Angel Red, there was only an Eva Angel *Pink*. So, with a little cross dressing of her dolls, the young girl easily corrected the original creators mistake. 

Hikari had a brunette haired Barbie, but its hair was cut to the shoulders. So the dolls artificial hair kinda stuck up in the air, in all directions. The little girl had to learn the hard way that Barbie's hair were not meant to be cut. But it was still her favorite doll, and the one she played with the most out of all her others as Eva Angel Green. 

Rei didn't have a Barbie doll. Her mommy couldn't find a Barbie that represented Rei's uniqueness. So instead, the little girl had a Barbie sized Tsunami doll, from the TV show Tenchi. Her doll was always Eva Angel White. 

The three girls played for about an hour before Hikari's older sister remembered to check on them. She was such an incompetent babysitter. 

"Squirt, are you getting into any trouble?" The tall dark haired girl asked half heartedly as she poked her head through the double doors.

Without looking away from where her doll rested inside the pool of the pink Malibu Mansion, Hikari answered "Nope!"

Asuka turned toward the teen. She wanted to know if she could get some juice. She was thirsty and only Gawd knew when the girl would come back and check on them again. When she turned around to request her beverage, what came out was. "What happened to your mouth?" 

Hikari's oneesan's tongue immediately licked the large blister at the corner of her mouth. "Owwww"

Her groan got Rei's attention away the remote controlled pink Porsche, which held her doll. One handedly, the little blue haired girl was skillfully maneuvering the car through the legs of the expensive coffee table and to a safe stop. She looked up at he older girl, furrowed her brow in disgust and softly said behind her thumb. "ewww" 

Hikari turned to look as well. She had already seen the sores on her sister's mouth, but since everyone else was looking, the bright red blisters started to look interesting again. 

"It's a cold sore." The girl answered with a slight speech impediment, due to the fact that she tried not to move her aching lips while talking.

Hikari reminded innocently." I thought you said it was a fever bl--blis--?" 

"Blister." Her sister finished. She didn't have the patience for her sister to remember the word. "It is." 

"But fevers are hot..." Asuka informed and narrowed her crystal blue eyes. Her genius little mind was assimilating the formation and something wasn't coming out right. "How can you get a sore that is cold from a fever?"

With her thumb in her mouth, Rei looked from Asuka to the older girl expectantly. In Rei's opinion, that was a good question. Asuka always had good questions. Rei asked her daddy about that, and he said that it was because her friend's thought patterns processed information faster than the average person. It made sense to Rei; even though she didn't understand it.

"Trust me..." The teen said haughtily. "This sore is not cold. It burns like heck!" She unconsciously licked at it again. "Anyway they're the same thing."

"Oh" Asuka said stumped. She didn't entirely believe the girl but she couldn't prove that she was wrong. She was going to ask her mom about it later. "So you got it when you were sick?"

The teen rolled her eyes kids, they don't know anything "No I wasn't sick!"

"But you had a fever?" Rei reminded softly.

"No..." She sighed. "I *have* a _fever _blister!"

"But you said it was a cold sore!" Hikari reminded again.

"Ugh!!" The teen yelled as she threw her hands in the air. sometimes these kids can be soooo thick!

"How did you get that cold blister?" Asuka asked with genuine interest. It looked really painfull.

At this point, the dark haired teen was so fed up with the three little girls, she told the truth. "I'm not sure how I got it, but my boyfriend has one too. And I know *I've* never had one before.... so maybe you should ask him!!" She angry spun on her heals and stomped down the long hallway to avoid anymore questions from the trio. 

Hikari rolled her eyes when her sister left and went back to playing with her dolly, as so did Rei. The teen's confession didn't make sense to them ,so they didn't worry to much about it.

Asuka, on the other hand, hated when things confused her. So she pondered on the girls words until...

"Hey! Do you know what she just said?!"

"Who?" Hikari asked innocently as she tuned to face her friend.

Asuka crawled over toward her two friends and sat right in between Rei and Hikari. "Your sister!"

Slightly muffled by her thumb, Rei answered. "She said.... she got a hot sore from a cold." 

"_No_" The little red haired girl corrected adamantly. "She didn't say that. She *said* that she got that hot sore _from_ a_ BOY!!!"

:: end of flash back::

"That is NOT what happened?!!" Touji interrupted Asuka's interpretation, venomously. "Boys do NOT have cooties!"

"Is so what happened!" Asuka yelled back.

"Is not!" Touji and Kensuke yelled together.

"Is SO!" Asuka and Hikari yelled back, twice as loud.

"IS NOT!!" All the boys, including Shinji, excluding Kaji, yelled in unison.

"Then what happened?" Ritsuko asked with calm neutrality. She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily; she was beginning to understand what was going on. 

Touji and Kensuke were engaged in a glaring contest with Asuka and Hikari, so Kaworu volunteered to tell his version of the story. 

"It all started a little over two weeks ago..." He informed calmly.

__

::Flashback::

Kaworu, Shinji, Touji and Kensuke were playing Eva Rangers in the Suzuhara front yard. 

"I am EVA PURPLE!" Shinji yelled as he posed in the Karate Kid crane position. "I will NOT allow EVIL to go unpunished!"

"We are Eva's Orange and Blue!" Touji and Kensuke yelled as they pressed their hands together in a London bridge position. "Twins of Justice and defender's for Evil!"

"*Of* Evil" Kaworu correct. "If you where defending *for* evil you would be the bad guy!"

"Oh yeah!" The twins said in unison. "Forgot again, gomen!" 

"I am Eva Black!" Kaworu yelled and posed with his legs speed wide and his arms in the air like a V "I will fight for Victory and WIN!!"

"And together..." The boys yelled "We are the EVA RANGERS!!!"

"Will you little idiots, SHUT UP!!"

All the boys fell out of their poses, and looked at the disgruntled teen neighbor. The boy had long flowing, emerald green hair, and he was sitting on his front porch and was gesturing to the phone he was talking on.

"I can't hear with you yelling like dorks!"

"We're not dorks!" Touji yelled back. "We're Eva Rangers!"

"Same difference!" The boy shot back and turned slightly so his back was now facing them.

The kids knew this boy well. He was the meanest kid in the whole neighborhood and probably the whole world! No one new his first name, so everyone just addressed him by his last name. Saionji. He was also Hikari's sister's boyfriend. 

"I feel eeeevil close by!" Kaworu whispered loudly in his best Eva Black voice. He pointed at unpleasant teen to make his point.

The other little boys nodded in agreement as they covered their mouth with there hands and giggled. 

"Eva Purple!" Touji ordered. "Go attack the green monster. I will back you up!"

"And I will back you up, Eva Blue!" Kensuke promised his brother. 

"*I'm* not going over there!" Shinji squeaked out as he pointed frantically at the meanest boy in the whole world. "You go! I'll back *you* up!"

"No way!" Touji yelled.

"Yeah, No way!" Kensuke agreed. "He'll probably eat us alive, and then spit us out!" 

"Well *I'm* not going so I can be eaten first!" Shinji yelled and crossed his arms defiantly. 

"Well go together!" Kaworu said calmly in his Eva Black voice. "Together we will fight for Victory and Win!" 

"Yeah!!" Touji, Shinji, and Kensuke agreed. Then each boy made their pose once again and yelled. "EVA RANGERS UNITE!!"

It wasn't long before the four little boys had snuck, undetected behind a bush at the Saionji house. Now, they were just waiting for the right moment to make their move. Other than to saying their speeches and posing again, they didn't have a plan. However, they honestly felt that brave words and a cool pose would be enough to scare the evil out of the green haired teen. 

As the boys waited, they were able to hear older boy's phone conversation. 

"Yeah man..." Saionji agreed with the person on the phone, then roared. "NO!! I didn't give it to her!"

"Didn't give her what?" Shinji asked his friends in a whisper. The boys shrugged, they had no idea what the evil boy was talking about. 

"It hurts!!" Saionji growled. "I swear, I'm going to get her back for this!"

"Get her back for what?" Kensuke asked in a whisper.

"Who knows" Touji whispered back.

"Yeah..." Saionji laughed bitterly "She gave me her girly cooties." He laughed again. "Man, I haven't thought about cooties since I was a kid. I guess they are real after all."

"What's a cootie?" Kaworu asked out *loud*. The other three shrugged. They had no idea.

Out of now where, Saionji appeared in front of the bush they were hiding behind. He glared at the four little boys with uncontained fury and growled out. "You want to know what a cooties is?!!" He pointed at his blistered mouth. "Now get the %*& off my property before I kick your Eva @$$!!" 

In all directions the chibbi's scrambled out from behind the bush. They ran away with their eyes tripled in size and their mouth ajar. However, that look of shock was not because they feared for their life. It was because of what they saw All they could think was. He got that from a GIRL!!

::end of flashback::

"Girls do NOT have COOTIES!!!" Hikari and Asuka yelled. The nerve of Kaworu for telling such lies.

"They do to!!" Kensuke confirmed. "We saw them! They are big and red ,and they look like they hurt really really a lot !"

"We saw them too and my sister said she got them from a boy!" Hikari shot back. "The SAME boy you saw with them! He gave my sister cooties!" 

"Nuh uh!" Touji yelled .

"Uh huh!" Asuka and Hikari yelled back.

"Please ... Children!!" Ritsuko yelled as she rubbed her temples. "You guys are giving me a headache!" With Rei's piercing cries and Shinji's loud wails, plus the constant loud debates of Asuka, Hikari and the twins, all the noise was about to make the young blond turn around and run home. She didn't live that far away, and she was sure Misato or Kaji could watch Rei and Kaworu. She just wanted to get away from all this drama.

"Rei-chan, you're home." Misato soothed. "I'll take you upstairs to your bathroom so we can wash off your thumb ok?"

The blue haired toddler nodded then cried out. "I wanna call my mommy!" . 

"I call her for you." Ritsuko offered.

"I wanna call my mommy too!!" Shinji whimpered to Kaji

"Okay" The male teen agreed warmly. He turned to the left and looked Misato in the eyes. He silently told her that they would be back in a few minutes. 

The purple haired teen nodded then turned to Ritsuko. "We are going to have to set the cootie myth straight once-and-for-all when Shinji comes back." 

"I couldn't agree more" The blond sighed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I still don't own anything that deals with Evangelion. 

I love ya lots I really really do

Kimberly


	3. 3

Baby Sitting Chronicles

Ritsuko ran into the kitchen to retrieved the number to Lillith's cell phone. She could hear Rei, wailing at the top of her lungs, for her parents, as the little girl stomped up the stairs. 

Kaworu, Asuka and Hikari followed the youngest of the group into her bedroom. Like always, it was a mess with toys strewn about, dirty clothes on the floor, and her large butterfly canopy bed was unmade. Rei was allowed to keep her room in disarray because her parents read a "child rearing book" that told them to be outré and allow their children to be the master of their own "personal space." Since the children seemed happy with the arrangement, the parents felt the book was right and referred to it often. However, the maid, who had to the clean the two Ayanami children's rooms once a week, felt the book was a load of crap! 

Hikari immediately noticed a large pair of colorful, play butterfly wings hanging off of Rei's play table chair. "When did you get these, Rei-chan?" She asked as she quickly put them on. 

The blue haired toddler glanced back and answered through a sob. "Yesterdaaaaaay."

"Can I wear them?" Hikari asked even though she already had them on. She did a twirl to show how much she liked having them on. 

Rei whimpered even more. She didn't *want* anyone to wear her new wings; she just got them. Moreover, she didn't want Hikari to wear them because the little pigtailed haired girl bent up wire in her other ones. However, Rei didn't say no; her mama said it was rude not to share. So instead of answering, she made her way to her private bathroom and hoped Hikari would get the hint and take them off. 

Of course, the pigtailed haired girl didn't get the hint and kept them on and skipped around the large messy room as she pretended to fly.

"Does it hurt?" Asuka asked curiously as she watched the little blue haired girl stand on a step stool so she could reach the sink's faucet.

Rei nodded to the question. The "cooties" itself didn't hurt, but the thought of having them was what brought her the pain. The emotional pain. 

Kaworu walked into the bathroom and stared worriedly at his little sister. He watched her cry as she turned on the cold water and squeeze a large amount of hypo allergenic soap out of her butterfly soap dispenser. 

"Do you think you are going to be ok?" He whimpered out. 

Rei looked at her ruined, favorite thumb and started to cry harder as she shook her head no.

It wasn't long before the little sliver haired boy started to cry too. He felt so bad for her, and he didn't know how to help her. Without touching her that is. 

After Kaworu started to cry, Hikari stopped her prancing around and started to cry too. Asuka's crystal blue eyes widened fearfully as she stared at all of her sobbing friends. She wondered if Kaworu and Hikari were crying because they somehow caught cooties too! She didn't see them touch Rei, but ...maybe...cooties were AIR BORN!!! With that in mind, she turned around and quickly ran out of Rei's room. 

The five year old found Misato and Ritsuko in the kitchen dialing a number on the cordless.

~ring ring~

~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the banquet

Hundreds of wealthy men and women congregated in the elaborate ballroom of a four star hotel. They ate hors d'oeuvre handed to them, on sliver salvers, by waiters who were dressed in a white dress shirts and black slacks. The live band played mediocre sounding music, which drifted softly through the crowd; although, few couples did enjoy the music enough to dance. However, most people did not come to these functions for that sort of fun. Most came to shmooze , make business connections, or gossip. 

That was why the small group of friends kept to their own little "click" while they were at these affairs. 

All the men stood in circle and spoke of various things, from work, to sports, to the various things their wives *forced* them to do. Like coming to this charity. The General Shinzoo Sorhyu laughed at a story, Misato's father, Dr. Kei Katsuragi told them. The man was telling the tale of how his young teenaged daughter talked him and his wife into buying her a hot water penguin. 

"So who takes care of it, Kei since Misato is inept?" Gendo asked curiously. 

Kei looked at his long time friend and smiled. Ikari's callous way of speaking didn't bother him, for he knew the man couldn't help himself. "Her mother and I do." The man laughed. "The housekeeper adamantly refuses, no matter how much we offer to pay her." 

Shinzoo laughed heartily. "I wonder if my Asuka will be as inventive as your daughter, Kei?" 

"I'm sure she will." Takashii Horiki assured warmly. "And if the future is like the present, I believe *my* daughter will want to be like Asuka." 

Adam Ayanami smiled warmly at that statement, but his attention was drawn toward his wife when he heard her cell phone chime.

~~

Like the men, the woman flocked within their comfortable circle. Lillith Ayanami was listening to a story, the computer conglomerate, Jun Suzuhara was telling of how her "twins" took the good news that they were going to have a baby sister. 

"Can you believe that all this time..." The light brown haired woman giggled. "They actually thought I had a watermelon in my stomach?" 

All the women in the group giggled feverishly. 

Then Yui pondered out loud. "I wonder if Shinji wants siblings?.... I know it must get lonely for him being the only child." Mrs. Ikari always wanted to have another child but being the head resident doctor at Tokyo-Memorial didn't leave the time to try start over with a new child. 

Lillith was about to comment on Yui's question, but she heard the gentle melody of Beethoven's 9th coming from her expensive gown purse. After she reached into her purse, and took out her phone, she immediately noticed the number on the caller Id. In a gentle, calm voice, she asked . "Is every thing all right, Ritsuko?." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, Ayanami-san!" The blond teen whimpered woefully as she walked up the steps toward Rei's bedroom. "Rei thinks she has cooties! I assured her she didn't..... but she won't listen to reason!"

Misato and Asuka followed closely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Who does she believe she acquired them from?" The woman asked sweetly. She didn't doubt her daughter's claim. She never doubted her children.

Adam stared expectantly at his wife. She glanced back at him and smiled reassuringly. 

"Is anything wrong?" He mouthed.

As Ritsuko explained what happened, Lillith put a pale delicate hand over the mouth of her cell phone and answered softly. "Rei-chan thinks she has cooties....She thinks she acquired them from Shinji."

Gendo's brow quirked at the mention of his son's name. Not even a second later, his phone rang. "Ikari."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"DADDY!!!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo winced as he held the phone away from his ear, then timidly brought it back. "Shinji, what's wrong?" 

He already knew. This cootie thing had been the subject of his son's concentration for almost three weeks now. Gendo took a deep breath and stared at his wife. There was no malice in his gaze, but there was a bit of irritation. He felt that Yui should have ended Shinji's fear of cooties the same day the boy saw Saionji's mouth. Instead, she thought it was cute and allowed the child to believe in the gender germ. This in turn, also made Shinji's fear of the opposite sex sky rocket! That was something else he wasn't particularly fond of. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Daddy!!!" The little boy cried. "Rei..(hiccup sob)... Rei...(hiccup sob).... Rei....(hiccup sob).."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shinji, calm down." Gendo chided warmly to his highly distraught son.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaji walked into Shinji's bathroom. He took a quick glance around the large private space and at all the Eva purple knickknacks, before he admitted. "I can't find it."

Shinji's eyes tripled in size. Kaji-san couldn't find the anti-cootie soap!! That was the worst news ever!! The little boy took a deep breath then yelled into the phone. "Where's the special soap, Daddy!!! We can't find it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ikari winced and held the phone away from his ear again, then looked over at Yui. "Where's the special soap, love?"

"There is no special soap." She answered back softly. "Just tell Misato to use any bar of Ivory in the cabinet."

Gendo nodded and returned his attention back to the phone. "Shinji, let me speak to Misato."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"She's gone!" The boy cried out hysterically . He was completely horrified that they couldn't find the special anti-cootie soap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What do you mean she's GONE?!!" Gendo turned on his heels, and in a dark storm of emotions he headed for the exit that irresponsible little twit... leaving my son BY HIMSELF! 

Yui's eyes widened and her hand fluttered to her chest as she quickly followed her husband. 

Mrs. Katsuragi lowered her head and covered her eyes with her hands. please tell me that Misato didn't leave Shinji alone...again The Ikari's didn't know about the first time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaji heard Shinji's father yell, and he immediately knew that the man took his son's words the wrong way. So he quickly took the phone from the crying child. "Ikari-san, It's me Ryouji." 

Shinji wobbled out of the bathroom and into his impeccably neat bedroom. He moved his little legs and slouched his shoulders as if he were lethargic and was about to collapse from exhaustion. Or faint from stress. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo stopped and calmed down but still growled out angrily. "Where's Misato?" He felt more secure knowing that his son wasn't alone; however, he was still upset that the original babysitter wasn't there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaji swallowed hard before he answered. "Shinji refused to allow her to baby-sit him.... He was scared that she would give him even more cooties." 

Just the mention of cooties sent the little boy into another hysterical crying fit. Kensuke and Touji, who followed Shinji home, tried their best to comfort their friend... without touching him, of course. 

Kaji sighed and plugged his free ear with his finger. Shinji had an ear piercing scream and the teenager was quickly getting a headache. "Sir, if you would so kindly tell me where the anti-cootie soap is, I would greatly appreciate it." 

********

On the other end, Lillith was in a calm debate with her youngest child. She had already informed Rei that there was no such thing as cooties; however, Rei was convinced that her mother was mistaken. The little blue haired girl was not only sure that cooties were real, she was positive that she had already had them. 

"I-I-I." The little girl hiccupped dolefully, then managed out through her tears. "I got cooties before.... from Mr. Fluffy, 'member?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No sweetie..." Lillith soothed. "You are *allergic* to Mr. Fluffy... Remember when your father and I explained Felis domesticus, Fel d 1 to you?" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still stifling back her sobs with painful hiccups, the little girl nodded even though her mother couldn't see it. Then she countered in a wail. "W-whh-what about Touji-kun?... You said I couldn't touch him...'member? Cause *he* had coooootiiiiieeeees." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lillith's dark eyes widened in distress and she looked at Touji's mother. That was *not* what she said. "Little butterfly, I told you and your brother not to touch Touji-kun because he had Epidermophyton.... Remember? But now it is ok... because he has been treated."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rei tilted her head to the side and tried to remember if she heard that word before. "Oh yeah..." She whimpered. "You didn't want me to have any worms that made riiiiiiiiings..." 

The young blue haired girl always thought that was terribly unfair. She really wanted one of those magical worms! She needed one, so it could make her a butterfly ring. She had even planned on allowing her magic ring making worm to make rings for Hikari and Asuka. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No baby," Her mother corrected calmly.. "He had a ringworm. A _ring_worm. It's not a good thing... Remember the pictures I showed you? " 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rei's crimson eyes widened and she started to cry and again. 

***************

"But I _saw_ the cooties, daddy!" Shinji cried into the phone as he sat on his bed. "They were all over his mouth and now they will be all over my mouth too!!"

Touji and Kensuke sat on the adjacent bed and nodded in agreement. Shinji had two beds in his room and underneath each bed was another bed that rolled out, almost like a dresser drawer. In the twins opinion, Shinji had the coolest room out of all the boys. It was decorated like the Eva Rangers secret lair. That was the reason that when they had sleepovers, they mostly had them at Shinji's house. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Shinji." Gendo soothed the best he could in his naturally commanding tone. "He didn't have cooties; he had Herpes Simplex Type 1."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The little boy shook his head no. He saw them; he was there. And Saionji said that he had COOTIES. Shinji made frantic hand gestures and sobbed as he interrupted. "Herpes?! Cooties?! What's the difference?!" Shinji had no idea what his dad was talking about. His dad often spoke to him with words he didn't understand. 

"Yeah... what's the difference?" The twins said almost in unison. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo took a deep breath and answered with a lukewarm patience that he would only bestow on his wife and son. "If you give me a chance, I will explain it to you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"kay." The little boy whimpered and tried to be patient.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo took another deep breath and began his watered down explanation. "Herpes Simplex 1 are blisters that form on the lips and on the inside of the mouth ....These blisters soon develop into painful ulcers that will--"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinji's brow furrowed. "Daddy..." He interrupted. He had no clue what his dad talking about. "I want to speak to mommy!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gendo stopped mid-sentence and all the expression drained from his face. 

Yui giggled a bit as she stared at her beloved husband. She knew exactly what her young son just did. He couldn't understand the terminology his father was using, so he no longer felt the need to listen. 

With a flat expression, Gendo handed the phone to his wife. Yui gently received it as she whispered lovingly. "He's your son, so what did you expect?" 

A soft smirk of agreement appeared on the man's lips. Yui was right. Gendo knew, as everyone knew that he wouldn't hesitate to dismiss a conversation if he didn't deem it important.

Yui put her ear to the phone. Shinji was in the middle of a distraught rant, so she did not completely understanding what he was blubbering about at the other end of the phone. So, it was a mistake when Yui answered "Yes."

~~~~~~~

The little boy dropped the phone and started screaming. so daddy was wrong.... Herpes *are* COOTIES!! And now I caught them from Rei-chan!!!!!

Kaji, who was looking for the Ivory soap, ran back into the bedroom to see what was wrong, when Shinji started to scream hysterically. The teen looked accusingly at the twins, who were now playing with Shinji's Eva Ranger Purple action figure. 

The two boys glanced at each other, in wonder of why they received such a heated glare, then they looked back at Kaji and cried out. "We didn't do it!" 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

18 minutes later. 

All seven children, plus the three teens were in the Ikari family room because Shinji had adamantly refused to go Rei's house as was intentionally planned. 

All the children were sitting on the floor, the boys on one side, and the girls on the other. Four of them were blubbering and the other three looked terrified. The three teens unanimously felt that the parents did more harm than good with their explanations to the alleviate the children's fear of the dreaded cooties germ. So the babysitters decided to do what the parent's were too inept to do. They were going to set the record straight. 

Kensuke stared at Shinji, who sat on the boy's side but sorta separated from the other three boys, and asked his brother in a whisper. "I wonder what's going to happen to him... now that he has cooties."

Touji coned his hand over his mouth, to amplify his voice, as he whispered loudly. "His lips are probably going to fall off."

Shinji's eyes tripled their size, for he heard the elder twin as clear as a bell. His frantic gaze shot toward Kaji, and he sobbed out. "My LIPS are going to fall off?!"

"No, they are _not!" Ritsuko assured sternly. She looked at the little boy's slightly swollen lips and bit back chuckle. His lips may not fall off but she knew that they would probably be sore for at least two days from all the abusive rubbing and washing he did to them. She then looked at Misato to see if her purple haired friend found what she was looking for.

Misato was searching through the hundreds of numbered DVDs in the Ikari's home video library, while Kaji pilfered through the catalog which told him what was on each numbered case. The purple haired teen growled in frustration. She didn't understand how the Ikari's accumulated such a large amount of taped footage of Shinji. Right when she was about to give up, Kaji found what they were looking for, in the catalog, and told Misato where to find it. Shinji's 5th birthday, which was just five weeks past, was in case 235. 

"Found it!" Kaji called out as he quickly grabbed the cased item from his girlfriend's hand. 

"Good." Ritsuko sigh relieved. 

All the children looked on curiously as Kaji put the DVD in the player.

"Why are we watching Shinji's birthday?" Asuka asked impatiently once the visual came up. "I thought you said you were going to prove that cooties weren't real."

"We are." Misato chimed affably, then looked at the blue haired toddler. "Rei, did you have cooties before today?"

The little girl started to cry harder and shook her head no.

"Are you sure?" Misato smiled and quirked a brow.

Rei's shoulders shook as she started to cry harder and nodded. Ritsuko rushed over to little girl and picked up into a comforting embrace. She couldn't stand seeing the little girl so sad.

Misato turned her gaze to the other distraught child. "Same question. Shinji, did you have cooties before today?"

Shinji shook his head no as he hiccupped his sobs.

"Are you sure? Misato asked again with a smile.

"What's the point of this?" Asuka asked. Her five year old genius mind saw no logic to these question. 

Kaworu looked at the teen through blurry eyes. He couldn't see the point of this either.

"I just wanted to make sure." Misato answered sweetly then turned around toward wide screen TV. She chose the block on the menu where Shinji was opening his presents. She knew exactly what she was looking for because she was forced to come to this party. Right after Shinji opened a present which revealed a second Eva Ranger Purple Deluxe Edition, Version II, she allowed the DVD to play in real time. 

Everyone watched on silently.

////_ "Go on butterfly, go and give Shinji his present."_

The little blue haired girl shook her head no without taking her thumb from her mouth. 

"Ahhhh this is going to be so cute... Where's my camera?" A random adult cooed.

"If you can't find your camera in time...I'll make you a copy of it, from my film." Yui offered. "You're getting this right, love?"

"Yes Yui." Gendo laughed.

"Go on, sweetie!" Adam urged as he patted Rei's bottom to push her toward the birthday boy.

"I no wanna." Rei protested softly. 

"Shinji, come here." Yui called out sweetly. "Rei wants to give you something special for your birthday." 

__

The little boy peaked through a small opening left by the dozen of kids that surrounded him and looked at his mother. When he saw her gesture for him again, he pushed all his presents out of the way and quickly crawled out of the birthday circle. All his other friends paid no mind to where he was going and each child grabbed one of his many toys and started playing with it. 

With another gentle push, Rei walked over and stopped in front of the birthday boy.

"You got somthin for me?" He held out his hand. 

Rei looked back toward her parents, then turned around with a defeated look on her face. She reluctantly took her thumb out of her mouth, placed her other hand in his, and pulled down on it, slightly, with a little tug. When Shinji bent over she...../////

Rei's eyes tripled their size and she quickly buried her face on Ritsuko shoulder. Shinji fell back and feigned faint. 

Oh how long have they suffered with these cooties and didn't know it?!?! 

All the other kids just watched the innocent little kiss in pure horror.

__

/// About a dozen camera's flashed. All the parents Oooo'd and Ahhh'd as if the innocent kiss was the cutest thing they had ever seen. The two little ones quickly separated from the chaste kiss an quickly wiped off their mouth with the back of their hands. 

Shinji smiled at the little girl. "Thank you, Rei-chan." 

She nodded and put her thumb back in her mouth. The kiss wasn't what bothered her; it was having to take her thumb out of her mouth that was the big chore. 

The two children then walked toward the birthday circle as if nothing happened///

Misato cut off the TV and looked expectantly at all the children.

There was a dead silence in the room. Well, there would have been dead silence if Rei wasn't wailing. 

Painstakingly slow, Asuka turned her head and looked at Kaworu. Last December, Kaworu gave Asuka her birthday kiss. Kaworu looked at Hikari; she was the one who gave him his kiss. Hikari looked at the twins, and Kensuke and Touji both looked back at her, for they both gave her a kiss on her birthday. 

Oh.... the horror.....

The three teens looked at each other triumphantly.They knew that birthday kisses _weren't_ that big of a deal to the children. They were _always_ given by someone. However, the teens had no idea of the traumatic anguish that was swirling in the chibi's head. 

"See..." Misato said victoriously to her friends as she flicked her wrist and pointed at the children. "All we had to do was remind them that they have had contact before and that they ..."

Before the purple haired teen could finish her sentence, screams of every ear-shattering chord, every horrible and unimaginable pitch was simultaneously heard coming from the seven children.

Kaji quickly covered his ears. Ritsuko put Rei down and covered her ears as well. Then the two glared at Misato and growled. "Anymore bright idea's Misa-chan?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

45 minutes later. 

"So we don't have cooties?" Hikari sniffed out timidly.

"Correct." Kaji sighed in exasperation and raked his hand through his unruly hair. He had a headache and wondered how many different ways they were going to have to explain this to the chibi's before the kids accepted the truth.

"And you're *sure* we don't have herpes?" Touji asked for the millionth time. 

"Yeah, you're *sure?*" Kensuke said, repeating his brother, for the millionth time.

"Positive." Ritsuko promised through grit teeth. The young blond had one nerve left, and the kids were majorly stomping on it. They kept asking the same questions over and over. 

"How are you so sure? Asuka asked; even though, she desperately wanted to believe that the blond was telling the truth. 

"Yeah..." Rei whimpered. "Mama said you can get herpes from little boys."

The other six children looked expectantly at the teens. Everyone knew that the Ayanami's never lied. They were too afraid of God to lie. 

Misato growled under her breath. She always felt that the Ayanami parents were to _honest_ with their children. What's more, she was at the *end* of her, already short, patience, and she still had a couple of more hours to watch them. She raked her hand through her purple tresses and tried not to yell. "You guys aren't listening! You _can't_ get herpes from someone who _doesn't_ have them. And since _none_ of you _**had**_ them..._none_ of you _**have**_ them now!!" She failed miserably in her attempt to maintain low tones. 

The teens were given blank stares from all the children for about two minutes. Then Kaworu asked

"So we don't have cooties?"

Oh how the teens just wanted to throttle those kids.

~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't until about 15 minutes later, did the kids finally accept that they didn't have cooties or herpes. Actually, it was Asuka who accepted it first, then Kaworu. After those two accepted the truth, all the children accepted it as truth. In the other five children's opinion, if Asuka and Kaworu said that they didn't have cooties or herpes then... they didn't have cooties or herpes. They were the oldest, so they knew everything. It was as easy as that. 

However, by the time the kids all agreed that they didn't have cooties or herpes, Misato's, Ritsuko's and Kaji's nerves were shot. They would have *never* guessed that it would take that *long* to convince seven kids that they were not infected with a gender germ. After they were finally successful, all they could do was watch in dumbfounded anger and amazement as the five kids accepted the truth, not even a second later after to "two leaders" did. The three teens watched the chibi's go outside to play. TOGETHER. Happily together...OH SO HAPPY TOGETHER.... Touching, laughing, giggling, and TOUCHING as if they *never* had a fear in the world. 

Ritsuko sighed heavily as she sunk into the plush white couch. She absently thought only the Ikari's would have white furniture in a family room She felt that it was quite disconcerting to realize_ too late_ that they only had to convince the "two leaders" and not all seven of them. 

"Its amazing how quickly they forget." Kaji pondered out loud as he sat next to Ritsuko and watched the last of the group happily walk out of the back, sliding glass door. 

Misato remained standing. Her right eye had a nervous twitch as she watched the children leave. Those kids got on her nerves.... and my parents wonder why I hate babysitting so much. She vowed then and there... that she would never have children. It would just be her and her penguin....and Kaji, of course. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't own anything that deals with Evangelion. 

Sorry for taking so long with this chapter ^_~ I have two jobs and I'm a full time student again. So chapters to all my fic's will be slowly forth coming . Ohhh how I wish for more holidays. But don't worry....I haven't quit writing. ^_~ 

I love ya lots. I really really do.

Kimberly


End file.
